ATTENTION EMPLOYEES

ATTENTION!  This message is addressed to all men over the age of 6 years old that no longer require diapers.  When using urinals in bathrooms labeled ‘MEN’, it is totally un-ac-fucking-ceptable for you to pee from more than 1 to 1.5 inches away from the furthest protruding wall of a urinal.  Get this through your thick as bulldog shit skull as soon as possible, or I’m going to start tazing all of you bastards!

I can’t believe that while the rest of us are trying to live in a civilized society, you pricks are searching for new ways to flash your coworkers which won’t result in a sexual harassment suit and a pink slip, both of which should also be served with a swift kick to the taint (perineum for all the pre-meds) from one of the Gramatica brothers.  You’d have to be tripping on acid to think your coworkers would approve of this behavior from anyone other than one of their kids.  You’d also have to be on higher than Snoop Dogg on a Tuesday to hold solo sword fighting tournament in a bathroom with no urinal walls; because you’re high or Jaba the Hut’s personal douche bag (gross).

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