Milk, It Doesn’t Do Shit!

5230589If ever there were proof of how well sex sells, it’s those fucking milk ads that ran when I was a kid.  These things were all over the place; TV, magazines, and billboards.  You couldn’t get away from the shit if you lived in a 3rd world country.  They’d put the hottest eye candy on TV during Saturday morning cartoons so that all the ugly ducklings watching would think that milk = a nice chest, round butt, long legs, and pretty eyes or washboard abs, a chiseled jaw, big pecs, and the key to the city.

What they don’t tell you is milk is only good for two things, making pancakes and making it harder to shit.  And forget being big and strong just by drinking milk unless your dad laced it with steroids and HGH.  The milk ads for the 21st century were even worse because the sexual overtones weren’t even muted.  There was just pseudo-skeet and Dirty Sanchez brand mustache gel on random celebrities’ top lips accompanied by the dumbest grin the photographer could eek out of them.  They  even squeezed in a sexy pose if they could.  They might as well have Ron Jeremy pouring milk on 18 year old girls with self-esteem issues.  At least then, I’d have a real idea of what lifetime milk drinkers look like.  Overweight, hairy, short, and horny.

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One Comment on “Milk, It Doesn’t Do Shit!”


  1. I visited your post and i liked it your post is so sexy. Great job!


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