Ocupado, Bitch!

As if the fact that the door is closed and my feet are in plain sight isn’t enough, some douche bag tried to open the door to my stall in the middle me executing an intricate poop extraction technique.  Needless to say, I was more than a little incensed and, had I not been at my place of work, probably Ocupadowould have opened the door and had some choice words to share.  I’m thinking it would have been something along the lines of: “If you’re giving out handjobs or something for extra cash, I’m not fucking interested.  Try two stalls down.”

I can’t be the only person that’s been interrupted in the middle of wiping my butt, but it’s always pretty jarring surprising.  A knock on the door, a cell phone going off at a critical moment during your sequence; any of these is enough to give you pause.  But nothing is quite as annoying as Michael Myers’ idiot third cousin not getting the fucking clue that someone is using the stall you’re in.  Stop jiggling the handle and knocking on the door, jackass.  We’re not in a scary movie…unless I ate Taco Bell the night before.  Either way, take it down a stall or two, Jack the Shitter.

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