The Best Part of Waking Up

This has nothing to do with coffee, the shit brown hue it stains teeth with or how the caffeine could shrink your balls.  But I may put that one in my back pocket for another time.  This, however, does have more than a little bit to do with the ridiculous social double standard that permits women to flaunt their greatest physical assets while men hide their junk like a kid that doesn’t want to share his toys.  Boners have feelings too, and it’s way past the time that I spread the wordThe Best Part of Waking Up

If you’re a guy, and you consistently wake up with enough morning wood to burn down the state of California, you should stop being ashamed immediately!  Stop hiding it!  Do you know how jealous your dad, grandfather, or friend with early onset erectile dysfunction is of the fact you can get wood while you sleep?  If you don’t, you’re a selfish prick, and you probably don’t deserve a working penis.  The best thing you could possibly do with morning wood is share it with the one you love.

If the one you love just so happens to be over the age of 40, it still doesn’t matter.  Cougars well past their prime can walk around with their sun spots showing, why not let the world know you can still get wood?  This is truly the best part of waking up!  Not only are you alive, but you’ve lived to skeet another day.  And that’s a beautiful thing!

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One Comment on “The Best Part of Waking Up”

  1. FreakSmack Says:

    The wood’s all good until you really got to piss, but hey, that turns it into a sport.


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