The Stock Market

The Stock MarketRich men are technically not allowed to hunt poor men.  So, they devised a slightly more fucked up way to pass the time.  It’s a lot like gambling against the house in some posh ass casino in Monaco.  The kicker is they play with our money instead of using their own.  I mean, look at the recent trend in the markets.  Rich people fuck up, poor and semi-well off people give them money to continue fucking up or retire, and it all ends with the market up because rich people put their money back into it when it’s dirt ass cheap to invest.  It must be such a fucking rush, like doing a hybrid designer drug like cocashroomethstacy!

Not that I would know, but have you ever seen how excited Allen Greenspan and Warren Buffett look on a daily basis?  Must be the money.  You could do shit regular people never even think of like buying pairs of exotic cars and paying hookers to reenact episodes of 24.  Think about it.  Eventually, you’d get tired of making men fight to the death in your mansion’s ballroom for your kids’ entertainment?  And millions aren’t enough if you want a collection of servants from different countries or a bedroom set made of ivory and human souls.  That shit isn’t cheap!  You have to keep it fresher than a newborn’s innocence.  So, thanks, rich men around the world.  Without you, I wouldn’t have enough tears to masturbate with every time I check my 401k balance.

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